Toilet Malfunction

I hope you’ll consider publishing my story.  My boss seems like an OK guy, although I’m not always sure what exactly he does every day.  We work in sales.  My job is to source the leads and start to build relationships with the potential clients.  Then I’m supposed to get my boss involved when an appointment is set, and he becomes the deal ‘closer.’  But he really doesn’t close anything.  He goes to meetings and sits there with me.  But I’m the one closing.  I work the deals and then close them.  He sits there and tries to look important. Yet, of course he gets compensated quite handsomely for anything we sell.  He makes a higher salary and even more commission than me.

Before you say it, yes, I know how the world works and what they always say….money runs uphill and shit runs downhill.  I know my place.  I sell, earn my living and make him look good (and earn him money) in the process.  But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.

However, lately, the situation with him not doing anything is really starting to tick me off.  So I decided to act out a little, as some might say.  And I purposefully decided to be as juvenile as possible in the process.  This is what I did:

The other night, I was sitting there stewing about all the money I’ve made him over the years and I just lost it.  So after he left for the day, I went into his nice office, where he has his own private bathroom.  I put saran wrap on to cover the bowl under the toilet seat.  Then I loosened all the bolts that mounted the toilet to the floor.  I have no idea why this was what came to mind, but figured it might be entertaining.

The next day he went into his bathroom and sat on the toilet.  I wasn’t in the office that day, but heard he peed all over himself, then toilet fell over and so did he.  Apparently people him calling for help from his office.  The best part of all of this…he has someone in mind who he thinks did it, and it isn’t me.  Even better…he put me in charge of office undercover work to find out who did it.  Too bad I’ll make sure the investigation keeps going on indefinitely.

Submitted by Smith

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